Category Archives: depression

Attacks, Attacks, Attacks.

I have recently been struggling with the fact that my family members or people i look highly to are currently attacking me and ambitions to go to Africa in January due to the whole Ebola epidemic.

Let me just make something clear, in the most respectful way I can (Which may not come off completely respectful but oh well).

There is absolutely nothing that anyone can say that will scare me from going to Africa in January. I understand your concerns for my health and safety… But I’m not scared. I have faith.
Jeremiah 1:19 says, they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you.
If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past year, it’s that Gods word is TRUE.
Wherever I go under the lords calling, He will protect me. I know exactly what I am walking into. I know exactly what the outcomes could be. But most importantly, I know that God is more powerful than the Devil. It says in the bible that Jesus has called us to do bigger things than he. And if you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself in John 14:12. NO LIMITS YALL. I intend on doing everything I can do to live up to that calling! 

I’ve had people tell me that I’m suffering from a “maturity issue” WHAT EVEN. A maturity issue? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that me listening to what the lord is calling me to do is a “maturity issue.” I’m sorry if I seem a little rude or fed up. But, I’m Insulted. It’s insulting because to me, that sounds like they’re questioning if i know the voice of God or not.

It makes my heart sad that people don’t see it the way I’m seeing it. No one will understand unless they have a calling like this on their life. The difference is, I am choosing to be obedient to God by actually going out and doing something instead of sitting on my butt behind a computer screen/phone not doing anything and insulting the people who are actually doing something. & SO WHAT if i have to be quarantined the second i get back. MY MISSION WAS TO HELP THOSE IN NEED AND THATS WHAT I SHALL DO. I don’t care what it brings onto my life. I don’t care if i catch Ebola. Because I did it all for a bigger cause! 

& if I were to get Ebola and die, or be murdered in some kind of war zone, (which I mean, come on… The chances are super low) then I would go out doing the lords work… And in my books, there’s nothing more honorable than that.

Sooooooo. In the nicest way possible… Please just save your breath. There’s no talking me out of this one. Don’t waste your energy on telling me things I’ve already heard a hundred times. Instead, use your energy on praying Psalms 91 hedge of protection over me, because im a stubborn girl.
There will always be people out there that just won’t understand until they’ve had a calling like this on their life.
You can approve, or you can disapprove… But I’m doing it anyways. And a huge thanks to all of those who believe in me.

Ps. Let me just point something out.

Confirmed cases of Ebola in Uganda, Africa (where I will be) – 0
Confirmed cases of Ebola in Dallas, Texas (40 miles from my house) – 2

Take that haters.

It Gets Easier

And I know how impossible it is to realize that when something heart breaking is happening in your life. But don’t give up. Don’t give into the Devils sly ways of making you think that this feeling will last forever. It won’t. You’re going to be fine. You are loved. Not just by the physical world, but by the spiritual world. Jesus does not set one up for failure. Smile more, pray more, look up and praise God. And even if you have no reason to give thanks… Say thank you for the cross.
You’ll look back on this situation one day and be thankful because of how it changed you. Your current battles are making you stronger.


Things To Remember:

  • Just because you wake up feeling like a failure doesn’t mean you are one.
  • Just because people change doesn’t mean you have to let abusive people back into your life. Love them from a distance
  • It’s okay to share your feelings in a relationship.
  • Jesus is good even when I do not see it, and even when i do not hear Him.

If you are feeling low today, look to Jesus. If you are filled with shame and guilt, look to Jesus. If fear be dormant in your soul, look to Jesus. If you have lungs with air and a heart that beats, look to Jesus. For only in Him is there everlasting refuge to be found. 

I love you all.

A Dose Of Frustration

I’m not a negative person by any means. I’m typically always smiling or laughing. However, I am human and i do have my downward spirals every once in awhile.
The lack of consideration in men is just what’s really getting to me today. No, I’m not talking about men my age.. I’m talking about adult men who are well past their teenage years and should already have a life established for themselves.
1. If a man decides to get married, you know, make COVENANT, with a female… Then you need to honor that decision. You need to honor your vows. You need to honor that promise between you, that woman, and God.
Yes. God. Your marriage isn’t about you and your wife, it’s about you and your wife HONORING God. GROWING in God. SERVING for God. TOGETHER. And if you can’t grasp the concept that that’s how God calls our marriages to be… Then you’re not ready for marriage.
2. If you’re a father, and you have made the conscious decision to have kids… Or maybe it was an accident (you made the decision to have premarital sex knowing that there was a risk of having a child.) It is your duty, your obligation, your responsibility to follow through with the outcome. It stuns me how many children are growing up without fathers. Do you not realize that you are an essential to life? Do you not realize that we need male figures like fathers to be able to learn how to trust men? To know what to look for in a husband? Do you know that leaving your child is damaging? Who is supposed to protect us until we find our husbands? Who is supposed to walk us down the isle? Who is supposed to be our children’s grandfather?

This applies to women too.
Actually… This just applies to everyone. There are way to many deadbeat people in this world who are running away for their own selfish reasons. How about instead of running away and hiding when things get bad, your turn to God. You cry out for help. You seek for answers from God.
Put down your marihuana joints, turn away from the liquor bottle, and do everyone a favor and get your freaking life together.
Drugs and alcohol aren’t going to do that for you buddy. Only God will.