Category Archives: journal

Day 1 in Uganda (an entry from my journal)

I landed in Entebbe this afternoon after our flight was delayed 2 hours. The step off of the plane and onto the red African dirt will forever be engraved in my mind. That step initiated the furthest I’ve ever been physically and spiritually.
One of the first things I saw as soon as I got off of the plane was a man on a bike with about 300 bananas tied to it. The culture shock started to set in. People are lined up outside begging to carry my luggage to the bus. They’re so eager to help and talk to the mzungus. We got on our 1994 20 seater bus and headed down the long dirt road towards Konkolee village. It’s roughly 100 degrees here, and the sun is absolutely piercing. Traffic in Uganda is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. There’s no traffic laws, signs, or lights. Cars just pretty much squeeze between anywhere they can and the “pikis” (motorcycles) daringly squeeze between that. Everything looks like a giant Mexican flea market. There are nothing but little shacks everywhere with small businesses inside where they sell things such as drinks, water bins, and airtime cards. They’re bright vibrant colors with random posters all over. Little children are playing outside these makeshift shacks while the men are typically sitting on their pikis communicating with other men, and the women are peeling corn or skinning potatoes. The looks we get as we’re driving down the road is priceless. They rarely see mzungus. The women give dirty looks, the men make inappropriate remarks, and the children are jumping up and down singing the mzungu song. The children are obviously my favorites. Uganda has no trash system, so there is literally trash EVERYWHERE. All over the ground, in the creeks (of which they drink from) and in the bushes. Once they get ready to clean up, they pile it up and burn it all. However, this is still the most beautiful place I’ve seen yet. Banana trees everywhere, hills, mountains, green grass. It’s seriously breath taking. My forehead was to the window the whole ride. I was so amused by the culture of these people that I was trying to take in everything I possibly could as well as study my surroundings. The thing I love most is the children. These children are literally wearing rags. Most have no shoes so their poor little feet are all torn up and consumed by jiggers. (little insects that eat a little hole and burrow themselves into the bottom of your feet leaving egg sacs)
However. They’re still smiling from ear to ear. Their bright smiles and eyes stand out from their dark skin. It melts my heart that when I give them something, like a shirt or candy, that they bow down in appreciation. My heart is overjoyed to know that tomorrow I will be spending the day playing with our sponsored kids in Konkolee.
We finally arrived at our hotel 4 hours later. The hotel is surrounded by a gate for our protection, and an armed guard keeps watch at night. The hotel girls had prepared dinner for us. There was chicken, beef, rice, bread, and pineapple. I just stuck with rice and pineapple to play it safe. We got the keys to our rooms and went to go settle in. Mine and Leanna’s room is roughly 10 feet X 10 feet with two little twin sized beds. The bathroom door didn’t shut and there wasn’t a shower, just a shower head and the water fell into a little bucket. They told us it wasn’t best to shower while we are there cause the water isn’t safe. 10 days without showering should be interesting.
As I laid in my twin bed trying to unpack everything I had just seen on that bus ride, Leanna asked me a question. She said, “what do you want from this trip, Meg?” I said, “I want to be wrecked. I want to reach a new level of emotion.”
And it’s absolutely true. I want the lord to just completely break my heart over these people. I want to know and understand the lords heart for seeing the way these people are forced to live.
Lord… Break me. And when I’m broken, break me more. I don’t want dry eyes at all while I’m here. I’m asking you to shatter my heart. Thank you lord.

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5 Ways To Fight Temptation

1. Recognize your tendency towards sin.
“But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.”
James 1:14 explains that we are tempted when we become enticed to our own natural desires. The first step towards avoiding temptation is recognizing your human tendency to be tempted by our own fleshly desires. Temptation is a given, so don’t be surprised by it. Rather, expect to be tempted. Be prepared for it!

2. Run away from the temptation.
I love the new living translation of 1 Corinthians 10:13.
“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”
When you’re faced with temptation, look for that way out that God has promised and then run as fast as you can!

3. Resist with the word of truth.
Hebrews 4:12 says,
“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”
Though it can be helpful to read gods word when you’re tempted, sometimes that’s not practical. Even better is to practice reading the word daily, so that eventually you have so much of it inside you.

4. Refocus with praise.
How often have you been tempted to sin when your heart and mind were fully concentrated on worship to the lord? Praising God takes the focus off of you and puts it on God. You may not be strong enough to resist temptation on your own, but as you focus on God he will inhabit your praise. He will give you the strength you need to resist and to walk away from temptation.

5. Repent quickly when you fail.
In several places, the bible tells us the best way to resist temptation is to flee from it. Yet we all fail from time to time. Notice I didn’t say “repent quickly IF you fail.” Having a more realistic view – knowing that at times you fail – should help you repent quickly when you do. It’s not the end of the world when you fail. But it is very dangerous to persist in your sin.
“These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” James 1:15

God bless,
Megs.

Are you living Christlike?

When we do sin, God has given us the opportunity to repent. And a lot of people misunderstand the term “repent”
Repentance is not just simply apologizing for the sin you have done, but it also means to change, to turn away from.
Yes, we are saved no matter what if we have already received him as our savior… But, we still should try our hardest to live a pure lifestyle. Pure from sin.

We should strive every single day to be walking demonstrations of who Jesus is.
We’re humans, it’s natural for us to mess up… And anyone can mess up, but heres the test… Do we keep committing sins and brush it off? Or do we run to Jesus and lay it at the cross?

But I think as long as our heart is in the right place, and we keep trying to perfect ourselves, that eventually were going to become more and more God like. And as you keep making those changes, you become stronger every day. I think it’s kind of like working out, you have to exercise it every second of the day. You have to become a bodybuilder in His kingdom.

It takes a strong heart to come to the realization… That if I mess up, it’s okay because I know I am already forgiven. It’s okay because Gods grace is so sufficient! Grace. I freaking love that.
I love the comfort of knowing that He loves me so much, that when I mess up and fall down, he’s there to pick me back up and tell me to try again.
That feels so good!

So much life spoken into my little heart today

I’m at a women’s conference at my home church with some of the most amazing women I could possibly be around.
This morning, an incredible speaker spoke to us about what it means to be beautiful, and how to have an intimate relationship with Jesus.
Here’s what I’ve processed this far.

Beauty.
God makes us beautiful. I am me and you are you. We should not look at other women and think…”gosh, I want to be her.” We are gods own creation. He has created us with our own type of beauty and our own callings.
It doesn’t matter what other people say about us… What matters is what Jesus says about us, and Jesus says were beautiful! When we call ourselves fat and ugly, we are speaking over Gods word and drowning him out. You are beautiful. I am beautiful. Because we have the spirit of The Lord within us.

Relationships.
Relationships are extremely important to us women. We want a man who will share his true feeling with us. When we make covenant relationship with a man, blood is shed. When we make covenant relationship with God, blood is shed. But in a covenant, we have to talk to each other. Marriage is a developmental process that happens in our lives. That’s how we need to look at our salvation with Christ. He will transform us from glory to glory to glory.
When were in a relationship with a man, we want to know every little detail about him because somehow, if we know the little things like his first crush, or his favorite teacher… It makes him more of ours. But the question is, how many of us are like that towards Jesus? How many of us are craving to know every single detail about him?
That being said, reading about someone doesn’t make a relationship. Relationships are a two way street. Relationships require communication.
God wants our hearts. When were connected to his heart, he’s connected to ours.
So when communicating with God, how do we hear him speak?
1. Quiet yourself. Be still to know that HE IS God.
2. Fix your eyes on Jesus.
3. Spontaneous thoughts ARE from him!
4. Write it down so that it becomes more clear to you.

Don’t just believe IN God. Believe him. He Perseus us to our potential. He calls us out of our identity, and into the identity He has for us.

Happy Saturday yall. ☺️

Happiness

As the weekend is approaching, I want you to know that you are in control of your happiness. No one can control how you feel. They may AFFECT your mood, but you are always in control of how you handle it.

Do something this weekend that is positive for you. Go out of your way to make someone smile. Get off your butt and go out into this beautiful world and take advantage of every breath you have!

And lastly, remember that you are beautiful in every single way, in your own kind of way. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise!

Have a fantastic weekend people!

Megs.

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Motives.

Let me ask you something.
What are your motives for some of the things that you do?
Go ahead, ask yourself.
What are your motives for spreading a rumor you heard about so and so today?
What are your motives for not liking someone?
Be honest with yourself. Maybe you’re just a little jealous because someone has something you have? Maybe not.

Now ask yourself what your motives are for facebook/instagram/Twitter.
Are my motives to get likes or followers?
Are my motives to be nosey?
Are my motives to seek for acceptance and approval?

I’ve come to the realization that maybe those are my own motives. Maybe those are your motives too.
Why do I need approval from people.
Why do I need to feel accepted by people I don’t see on a daily basis, or even from people Ive never even met?
I only need to be accepted by God. Gods not on social media.

Maybe our motives should be for ministry purposes. Maybe social media is in our lives to spread his word easier.

Think on that for awhile. And before you do anything in life that may be “unbiblical thinking” go ahead and ask yourself, what are my motives for doing this?

Megs.

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Though this journal Is a giant book of messy, bipolar thoughts, I’m thankful that I’m still able to recognize that even though the chaos, Jesus can bring you out of your messy thoughts and into His peace.

So to my writer friends out there… Remember that Jesus already knows what you’re thinking about. It’s a matter of, if you’re willing to let him in and help you climb out of the madness.

Love you guys!
Megs.

Attacks, Attacks, Attacks.

I have recently been struggling with the fact that my family members or people i look highly to are currently attacking me and ambitions to go to Africa in January due to the whole Ebola epidemic.

Let me just make something clear, in the most respectful way I can (Which may not come off completely respectful but oh well).

There is absolutely nothing that anyone can say that will scare me from going to Africa in January. I understand your concerns for my health and safety… But I’m not scared. I have faith.
Jeremiah 1:19 says, they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you.
If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past year, it’s that Gods word is TRUE.
Wherever I go under the lords calling, He will protect me. I know exactly what I am walking into. I know exactly what the outcomes could be. But most importantly, I know that God is more powerful than the Devil. It says in the bible that Jesus has called us to do bigger things than he. And if you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself in John 14:12. NO LIMITS YALL. I intend on doing everything I can do to live up to that calling! 

I’ve had people tell me that I’m suffering from a “maturity issue” WHAT EVEN. A maturity issue? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that me listening to what the lord is calling me to do is a “maturity issue.” I’m sorry if I seem a little rude or fed up. But, I’m Insulted. It’s insulting because to me, that sounds like they’re questioning if i know the voice of God or not.

It makes my heart sad that people don’t see it the way I’m seeing it. No one will understand unless they have a calling like this on their life. The difference is, I am choosing to be obedient to God by actually going out and doing something instead of sitting on my butt behind a computer screen/phone not doing anything and insulting the people who are actually doing something. & SO WHAT if i have to be quarantined the second i get back. MY MISSION WAS TO HELP THOSE IN NEED AND THATS WHAT I SHALL DO. I don’t care what it brings onto my life. I don’t care if i catch Ebola. Because I did it all for a bigger cause! 

& if I were to get Ebola and die, or be murdered in some kind of war zone, (which I mean, come on… The chances are super low) then I would go out doing the lords work… And in my books, there’s nothing more honorable than that.

Sooooooo. In the nicest way possible… Please just save your breath. There’s no talking me out of this one. Don’t waste your energy on telling me things I’ve already heard a hundred times. Instead, use your energy on praying Psalms 91 hedge of protection over me, because im a stubborn girl.
There will always be people out there that just won’t understand until they’ve had a calling like this on their life.
You can approve, or you can disapprove… But I’m doing it anyways. And a huge thanks to all of those who believe in me.

Ps. Let me just point something out.

Confirmed cases of Ebola in Uganda, Africa (where I will be) – 0
Confirmed cases of Ebola in Dallas, Texas (40 miles from my house) – 2

Take that haters.

I hate dating

Something that has just really been on my mind a lot.
I really just want to skip the dating part of life, and just be happily married. I just cant really bring myself to go on dates these days. And its not that I have feelings for anyone else or anything… My heart just wont allow it! I cant bring myself to hang out with a man, knowing that thats not the person I’m going to marry. Its the weirdest feeling & it makes me look like a total jerk.

I will admit that my standards may seem a little high, but I don’t really feel like theres anything wrong with that. I don’t even feel like my standards are THAT high. I just want an intellectual Jesus loving man that has a calling on his life to travel, being the hands and feet of Jesus. Someone who isn’t afraid to pray out loud for strangers. Someone who isn’t afraid to surrender himself to Jesus during worship and lift his hands. Someone who will sit with me when were going through a hard time, and just say.. “lets pray”. Someone who would be willing to put their life in danger by traveling to a 3rd world country to help people! Someone who I cant sit with and talk about very deep stuff. Someone who will inspire me to grow in my walk with God in a whole new way.

I know thats a lot… but in my opinion, those standards aren’t high enough. Every single human on this planet needs to be like that. Thats how were called to be. To LOVE jesus and to LOVE people. To be walking demonstrations of who Jesus is.

It just seems like my standards are high, because we don’t come across people like this very often these days & that scares me.

Megs.