Something that has just really been on my mind a lot.
I really just want to skip the dating part of life, and just be happily married. I just cant really bring myself to go on dates these days. And its not that I have feelings for anyone else or anything… My heart just wont allow it! I cant bring myself to hang out with a man, knowing that thats not the person I’m going to marry. Its the weirdest feeling & it makes me look like a total jerk.
I will admit that my standards may seem a little high, but I don’t really feel like theres anything wrong with that. I don’t even feel like my standards are THAT high. I just want an intellectual Jesus loving man that has a calling on his life to travel, being the hands and feet of Jesus. Someone who isn’t afraid to pray out loud for strangers. Someone who isn’t afraid to surrender himself to Jesus during worship and lift his hands. Someone who will sit with me when were going through a hard time, and just say.. “lets pray”. Someone who would be willing to put their life in danger by traveling to a 3rd world country to help people! Someone who I cant sit with and talk about very deep stuff. Someone who will inspire me to grow in my walk with God in a whole new way.
I know thats a lot… but in my opinion, those standards aren’t high enough. Every single human on this planet needs to be like that. Thats how were called to be. To LOVE jesus and to LOVE people. To be walking demonstrations of who Jesus is.
It just seems like my standards are high, because we don’t come across people like this very often these days & that scares me.
If we were looking at it on an experience level, I’d be the last person to come to for relationship advice. It seems as if every relationship I’ve ever been, which has been like 2, has failed dramatically. But as I’ve grown older, I am able to see that those 2 relationships that has ended in my life has not been my fault. And as shallow as that seems, its nothing less than true. I’ve been screwed over, and it’s really given me a bad taste when it comes to relationships. I got so fed up with it that I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone for a long time. I enjoyed sitting back and just watching other people in their relationships and observing the mistakes that made them fall apart. I learned a lot by people watching.
Heres what I’ve learned:
Every “I love you” every kiss, every hook up, is you giving bits and pieces of your heart away. Youre slowly adding more pounds of baggage onto your life. So when you’re standing at the aisle on your wedding day, you’re not able to give your FULL heart to your spouse. Your heart is missing pieces that are in other mens possessions. And I’m sure 75% of these marriages will end in divorce. I personally do not want to enter my next and last relationship with any baggage whatsoever. I want to be able to give my potential husband my FULL heart.
Dont ever (AND I MEAN EVER) lower your standards for a male/female. If you have your image of your perfect spouse in your brain, you don’t stop searching until you find just her. Dont ever let your morals drop. If you believe strongly in something, and you’re passionate about it… don’t let someone else degrade it. You chase after your dreams, you keep believing.. because your perfect spouse will back you up 100%
I can’t stress enough how important it is to be equally yoked when it comes to being in a relationship with someone. It’s important that if you’re going to date someone, you need to make sure that your morals are the same, that you believe in the same thing, and that you both want the same thing out of life. For example. If your plans are to remain pure until marriage… You need someone who feels and believes the same. Don’t settle for someone who “supports” you, or who just “accepts” it. NO you need to make sure that they are wanting to obtain purity too! BE EQUALLY YOKED
I understand that we’re humans and that we all make mistakes. And I know how almost impossible it is to remain pure in the world we live in today… However, I’ve learned that if you make the conscious decision to remain pure until marriage, its much more rewarding. Sex is a form of worship to god. Sex is love, and God is love. So you can bet your butt that Satan is going to take something like sex and do everything in his power to pervert it. That is why it’s all throughout our media today. That’s why its hard to come across unmarried people who are no longer virgins. The devil is perverting the image of sex. Fight through it though! You can do it! Youve waited all this time, you can wait longer! Wait for your husband/wife.
I’ve thought long and hard about what I want in a husband. And I feel like I’m really close to finding him. And despite my age, I feel like I’m more than ready to start settling down with someone. I know what love is. And I also know that in order to have a successful relationship, it needs to be centered around Christ. I haven’t been in a relationship in 3 years and that’s because I choose to grow in my relationship with God before I get in a relationship with a man. I choose to let God ready me in His timing. And when He feel like im ready, he’ll send me the man of my dreams. So for now, I choose to be picky. I choose to have high standards. I just want nothing less than right.